I have been searching for tips on how to handle two little monkeys, and one of the sites had a very good piece of advice: Don't compare yourself to other moms. This is SOOOO hard to do, but such good advice. I'm lucky to be surrounded by such amazing moms, many of whom now have two kiddoes. They all seem to be handling it so well, they keep their cool, they find time to do all these things while I haven't bathed in a week. All things being equal, it's great to learn from and look up to your peers, but things are not equal.
First of all, not all parents are the same. Maybe some moms can handle lots of loud noise/big messes/etc with just a sigh, but not all of us can. Loud noises bother my husband much more than me, so I see it in my own home where I am able to keep my cool much longer with noisy play than he does. It's not that he's more short-tempered than I am, it's that he's more sensitive to noises. Each parent has their own stuff that pushes our buttons, and each kid makes their own kind of mischeif. Sometimes this works out, sometimes it doesn't.
Second, not all kids are the same. I was in denial for the first two years that Violet is a "spirited" child, but now I realize that she is more energetic, kinesthetic, and needy than many children. When other moms watch her they return her to me with wide eyes and ask how I do it... So the fact that I can get through the day is pretty good, right?
Third, unless you are going to actually ask for advice on how to improve your own parenting, making comparisons based on what you see doesn't really help you, it just makes you feel bad about yourself.
Finally, it's important to remember that what you see of other people's parenting is usually them at their best, and yet we usually compare that to ourselves at our worst.
I've been really struggling this week, feeling like PPD is swallowing me up, and feeling lost and alone. I just keep reminding myself that this too shall pass, and nothing needs to be perfect, it needs to be the best I can do.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
J is for Jackfruit: Fruit Made Savory
The first time I heard about this jackfruit thing was when I was watching the second season of The Great Food Truck Race because I heard there was a vegan food truck participating. The Seabirds truck was known for it's "jackfruit tacos" and they kept talking about them.
I looked up recipes and found two basic ideas:
1. Jackfruit "pulled pork" made by slow cooking jackfruit in BBQ sauce.
2. Jackfruit "carnitas" made by cooking jackfruit with onion, garlic, and spices.
I went right out and got three cans of jackfruit. As soon as I got home, I looked at the recipes closer, and saw that I needed GREEN jackfruit, not the ripe jackfruit I had purchased. Of course. I went back to the store and there was no green jackfruit, just the ripe kind. The store I was at is largely Asian goods, so I was worried I wouldn't find it anywhere. Everything I read said to look in Asian groceries though, so I tried another shop and found some. I got two cans to try each method.
First I made the "pulled pork." I sautteed the jackfruit with some garlic and got it a bit browned, then put it in the crock pot with a generous covering of my favorite BBQ sauce. Straight out of the can, the jackfruit has a mild flavor that reminds me of a lychee, but not nearly as sweet. The floral flavor still reads as sweet though, and I felt like with my sweet BBQ sauce it was just not right. The texture was good though. With the right sauce, it would probably be good.
Next, I made the "carnitas." I had a "carne asada" spice pack that I had been wanting to use. It was a late night snack, because my hubs wanted some nachos. He heated up some black beans and cheddar daiya, while I made the jackfruit. I rinsed the jackfruit and sauteed it with some oil and garlic. Once it started to get browned, I mashed it up with a potato masher. It's almost unsettling how the texture looks like shredded meat. I then added the spices and continued to cook it until it got nice browned bits, and is mostly crispy. I put these crispy, spicy, tender bits on top of the nacho dip and it added great texture and flavor. The sweetness didn't come through for me, so it was perfect. No, it's not meat, and frankly I don't really want something too much like meat anymore.
I liked it so much that I sent my darling husband to get some more jackfruit for me... A lot more. The thing is, with two little ones, it's impossible to go into a small Asian grocery store. So I texted Gordon while he was out running errands and said, "Could you get 10 or more cans of jackfruit?"
Apparently, a white guy buying 10 cans of jackfruit in a tiny Asian grocery store isn't odd enough to even warrant asking what he was using it for or why he liked it so much. I wish I could read the cashier's mind and know what she thought of this purchase.
Sorry I don't have pictures, but I will try to update with some next time I make this.
For specialty stuff like this, Amazon is great! Here's my affiliate link for the brand I buy.
I looked up recipes and found two basic ideas:
1. Jackfruit "pulled pork" made by slow cooking jackfruit in BBQ sauce.
2. Jackfruit "carnitas" made by cooking jackfruit with onion, garlic, and spices.
I went right out and got three cans of jackfruit. As soon as I got home, I looked at the recipes closer, and saw that I needed GREEN jackfruit, not the ripe jackfruit I had purchased. Of course. I went back to the store and there was no green jackfruit, just the ripe kind. The store I was at is largely Asian goods, so I was worried I wouldn't find it anywhere. Everything I read said to look in Asian groceries though, so I tried another shop and found some. I got two cans to try each method.
First I made the "pulled pork." I sautteed the jackfruit with some garlic and got it a bit browned, then put it in the crock pot with a generous covering of my favorite BBQ sauce. Straight out of the can, the jackfruit has a mild flavor that reminds me of a lychee, but not nearly as sweet. The floral flavor still reads as sweet though, and I felt like with my sweet BBQ sauce it was just not right. The texture was good though. With the right sauce, it would probably be good.
Next, I made the "carnitas." I had a "carne asada" spice pack that I had been wanting to use. It was a late night snack, because my hubs wanted some nachos. He heated up some black beans and cheddar daiya, while I made the jackfruit. I rinsed the jackfruit and sauteed it with some oil and garlic. Once it started to get browned, I mashed it up with a potato masher. It's almost unsettling how the texture looks like shredded meat. I then added the spices and continued to cook it until it got nice browned bits, and is mostly crispy. I put these crispy, spicy, tender bits on top of the nacho dip and it added great texture and flavor. The sweetness didn't come through for me, so it was perfect. No, it's not meat, and frankly I don't really want something too much like meat anymore.
I liked it so much that I sent my darling husband to get some more jackfruit for me... A lot more. The thing is, with two little ones, it's impossible to go into a small Asian grocery store. So I texted Gordon while he was out running errands and said, "Could you get 10 or more cans of jackfruit?"
Apparently, a white guy buying 10 cans of jackfruit in a tiny Asian grocery store isn't odd enough to even warrant asking what he was using it for or why he liked it so much. I wish I could read the cashier's mind and know what she thought of this purchase.
Sorry I don't have pictures, but I will try to update with some next time I make this.
For specialty stuff like this, Amazon is great! Here's my affiliate link for the brand I buy.
Monday, November 21, 2011
I is for Imagination
Now that Violet is talking, the things that go on in her imagination are becoming more apparent to me, and it's so exciting getting this window into her creativity.
We got Violet this great little play stove at the Salvation Army. It's so adorable, and even better now that daddy added a "sink" to it. He cut a hole and inserted a metal bowl then added a faucent attachment so it looks like a sink. Super cute, and knobs to turn. She already had some play pots and pans, plus we got some plastic bowls while we were at the SA anyway, and she has her tea set. All "cooking" toys now live within Violet's kitchedn, and she likes to play with it.
The great thing about this toy, for me, is listening to what she "makes." Sometimes she makes what I'm making. So I make her toast and give it to her, and she takes it over to her kitchen and "cooks" the toast and breaks it into pieces to put in her bowls and serve. Other times she just cooks on her own though. The other day she was cooking and bringing me plates. I asked her what it was.
"Butter."
"Mmm... Butter? Is the butter on anything?"
"Tofu."
"Butter and tofu, okay, that sounds good."
Then she brought me a cup and said it was soup.
"Butter and tofu soup?"
She also plays with her baby dolls, and mimics things I do with her little brother, but also does her own things. Last night my husband went in to check on her after bedtime when we heard noises. She has recently learned to turn her light on and was playing by herself very contently in her lit up bedroom. She had one baby doll sitting on the potty, and she was "feeding" another from her straw sippy cup of water before laying it down on an unfolded changing mat.
And finally, the cutest conversation as of late. I had never talked to her before about what she wants to be when she grows up or what that even means. I decided to give it a try without explanation and see how it went.
"Violet, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
"Ummm... grow up... AIRPLANES!"
"You want to fly airplanes when you grow up?"
"YES!"
I thought that was so cute that I called for my husband and asked her agian.
"Violet, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
"Ummm... grow up... MOMMY."
"You can be a mommy when you grow up."
"Yeah. Mommy."
What a fun and exciting age 2 is! I'm really loving this stage.
We got Violet this great little play stove at the Salvation Army. It's so adorable, and even better now that daddy added a "sink" to it. He cut a hole and inserted a metal bowl then added a faucent attachment so it looks like a sink. Super cute, and knobs to turn. She already had some play pots and pans, plus we got some plastic bowls while we were at the SA anyway, and she has her tea set. All "cooking" toys now live within Violet's kitchedn, and she likes to play with it.
The great thing about this toy, for me, is listening to what she "makes." Sometimes she makes what I'm making. So I make her toast and give it to her, and she takes it over to her kitchen and "cooks" the toast and breaks it into pieces to put in her bowls and serve. Other times she just cooks on her own though. The other day she was cooking and bringing me plates. I asked her what it was.
"Butter."
"Mmm... Butter? Is the butter on anything?"
"Tofu."
"Butter and tofu, okay, that sounds good."
Then she brought me a cup and said it was soup.
"Butter and tofu soup?"
She also plays with her baby dolls, and mimics things I do with her little brother, but also does her own things. Last night my husband went in to check on her after bedtime when we heard noises. She has recently learned to turn her light on and was playing by herself very contently in her lit up bedroom. She had one baby doll sitting on the potty, and she was "feeding" another from her straw sippy cup of water before laying it down on an unfolded changing mat.
And finally, the cutest conversation as of late. I had never talked to her before about what she wants to be when she grows up or what that even means. I decided to give it a try without explanation and see how it went.
"Violet, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
"Ummm... grow up... AIRPLANES!"
"You want to fly airplanes when you grow up?"
"YES!"
I thought that was so cute that I called for my husband and asked her agian.
"Violet, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
"Ummm... grow up... MOMMY."
"You can be a mommy when you grow up."
"Yeah. Mommy."
What a fun and exciting age 2 is! I'm really loving this stage.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
H is for Happy
Joy is something we really wanted to give our children, and I have to say that in that respect we have been great parents. Violet is a HAPPY child. She smiles, laughs, and has fun all the time. One of my favorite things she says right now is, "HAPPY!"
 |
| Twinkle, twinkle, little star... |
 |
| "It's flying Mommy!" |
Monday, November 14, 2011
G is foe Gym: Taking Time to Recharge My Own Batteries
Anyone who has ever flown knows the rule, and yet ever mom forgets it (and probably most dads do too).
"Secure your own oxygen mask before helping others." That even goes for children, infants, and those who are otherwise impaired. You must secure your own first, or you are no good to anyone else.
So, I joined a gym. I guess I should mention that I'm very overweight (obese is the term that I'm trying not to use there, but it's the medical term for how overweight I am...) and part of being a good mom means being a healthy mom. This isn't to say that I put much stock in the BMI, but it is a reality that after two kids in two years, I've let my muscle tone lapse. I'm actually a few pounds lighter than I was when I got pregnant with my first baby, but I'm not feeling as healthy as I did then. I am exhausted, first of all, and then I have noticed that I get tired from activities easier than I would like.
Also, to be honest, the idea of being able to do anything, even work out, unencumbered by children, sounded a little too good to be true. So I joined a gym with child care. My son is only 7 weeks old, which is horrific to the same mommy who didn't leave her daughter with a sitter (or anyone for that matter) until she was over a year old. I just had to face reality though, and the reality is that I needed some time just for me. I wanted to take a yoga class here and there, get strong, get leaner...
Of course, since a gym is there to make money, they signed me up for an intensive 6 weeks with a personal trainer working out twice a week with her and then having a homework day of workout and taking all manner of measurements and weighing me. Ugh. I was just trying to RELAX!
That said, after only one week I am already sleeping better, feeling good about myself and remembering what it was like to be strong.
When I was in high school, sophomore PE was co-ed and we would do warm-ups each day. Part of those warm-ups included doing push-ups. I remember while many of my fellow females were doing "girl push-ups," I took pride in my strength and did the standard version. One day, the teacher was getting exasperated with the lack of effort put forth by many of the boys, and she said, "Guys, just look how Erin is doing her push-ups! THAT'S what I want to see!" I also enjoyed running in high school, which was another daily task with a weekly mile and a half. I loved mile and a half days. In college, I tried to keep running, but without the daily practice, the longer runs left me sore and with shin splints. I did finally work up to a nice running routine, but then started dating someone and I just couldn't find the time. There was never time to say, "this is for me."
Well, now I have an extremely amazing and supportive husband, whose oxygen mask has enabled him to reach over and help me, and he's supporting me in this effort to help myself. I have 5 more weeks, and then the training wheels come off and we see if I can stick to my routine, and not let life get in the way. This IS life. This IS my health. No matter how much I may dislike those pesky BMI numbers, I admit that I'd love to just be "overweight" instead of obese. I'd like to see my waist again.
Wish me luck and happy health.
"Secure your own oxygen mask before helping others." That even goes for children, infants, and those who are otherwise impaired. You must secure your own first, or you are no good to anyone else.
So, I joined a gym. I guess I should mention that I'm very overweight (obese is the term that I'm trying not to use there, but it's the medical term for how overweight I am...) and part of being a good mom means being a healthy mom. This isn't to say that I put much stock in the BMI, but it is a reality that after two kids in two years, I've let my muscle tone lapse. I'm actually a few pounds lighter than I was when I got pregnant with my first baby, but I'm not feeling as healthy as I did then. I am exhausted, first of all, and then I have noticed that I get tired from activities easier than I would like.
Also, to be honest, the idea of being able to do anything, even work out, unencumbered by children, sounded a little too good to be true. So I joined a gym with child care. My son is only 7 weeks old, which is horrific to the same mommy who didn't leave her daughter with a sitter (or anyone for that matter) until she was over a year old. I just had to face reality though, and the reality is that I needed some time just for me. I wanted to take a yoga class here and there, get strong, get leaner...
Of course, since a gym is there to make money, they signed me up for an intensive 6 weeks with a personal trainer working out twice a week with her and then having a homework day of workout and taking all manner of measurements and weighing me. Ugh. I was just trying to RELAX!
That said, after only one week I am already sleeping better, feeling good about myself and remembering what it was like to be strong.
When I was in high school, sophomore PE was co-ed and we would do warm-ups each day. Part of those warm-ups included doing push-ups. I remember while many of my fellow females were doing "girl push-ups," I took pride in my strength and did the standard version. One day, the teacher was getting exasperated with the lack of effort put forth by many of the boys, and she said, "Guys, just look how Erin is doing her push-ups! THAT'S what I want to see!" I also enjoyed running in high school, which was another daily task with a weekly mile and a half. I loved mile and a half days. In college, I tried to keep running, but without the daily practice, the longer runs left me sore and with shin splints. I did finally work up to a nice running routine, but then started dating someone and I just couldn't find the time. There was never time to say, "this is for me."
Well, now I have an extremely amazing and supportive husband, whose oxygen mask has enabled him to reach over and help me, and he's supporting me in this effort to help myself. I have 5 more weeks, and then the training wheels come off and we see if I can stick to my routine, and not let life get in the way. This IS life. This IS my health. No matter how much I may dislike those pesky BMI numbers, I admit that I'd love to just be "overweight" instead of obese. I'd like to see my waist again.
Wish me luck and happy health.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
F is for Freezer
My sweet husband got me a beautiful freezer for the garage as a "You Gave Birth Again" present.
Now, this isn't like when a husband buys his wife a new stove or vacuum, this was something I specifically requested. You see, with two little ones, dinner time is hard. Really hard. I have a two year old who keeps me out of the house most of the day, and an infant who needs nursing as soon as we get home. So, the solution for me is to have easy meals that are prepped and can be thrown in the oven if we'll be home for a while or in the crock pot if we are going to be out all day.
Now I got the Vegan Slow Cooker recipe book so that I could do the slow cooker recipes, and the freezer so I could pre-make things like casseroles. Well, some genius of course came up with a way to utilize both for perfection!
I found this on Pinterest, and while I can't use her recipes, I love her idea. Basically, you do everything you would before you put stuff in the crock pot (except you make multiples), and then you put it in freezer bags instead of the crock pot. Then you just pull out a freezer bag and throw it in the crock before heading off for your fun-filled day. I'm thinking sledding :)
Another trick that I came up with was inspired by another new cookbook I got called Vegan Family Meals. She has a recipe for lasagna that calls for rolling up the noodles and filling instead of laying them out flat. If you want to try the recipe, but don't want to buy the book, I found it posted here. I thought that would be a great way to keep them in single servings. So I froze them in a cupcake pan, without the sauce, then just pull out a few rolls and toss them in the crock pot with some sauce and they are ready by dinner time. The last time I did this I also chopped up kale and eggplant to cook in my sauce while the lasagna was cooking. It turned out great and was a complete meal.
Now, this isn't like when a husband buys his wife a new stove or vacuum, this was something I specifically requested. You see, with two little ones, dinner time is hard. Really hard. I have a two year old who keeps me out of the house most of the day, and an infant who needs nursing as soon as we get home. So, the solution for me is to have easy meals that are prepped and can be thrown in the oven if we'll be home for a while or in the crock pot if we are going to be out all day.
 |
| Use the crock pot for more time for this. |
Now I got the Vegan Slow Cooker recipe book so that I could do the slow cooker recipes, and the freezer so I could pre-make things like casseroles. Well, some genius of course came up with a way to utilize both for perfection!
 |
| Cook a pre-frozen casserole and have more time for this. |
I found this on Pinterest, and while I can't use her recipes, I love her idea. Basically, you do everything you would before you put stuff in the crock pot (except you make multiples), and then you put it in freezer bags instead of the crock pot. Then you just pull out a freezer bag and throw it in the crock before heading off for your fun-filled day. I'm thinking sledding :)
Another trick that I came up with was inspired by another new cookbook I got called Vegan Family Meals. She has a recipe for lasagna that calls for rolling up the noodles and filling instead of laying them out flat. If you want to try the recipe, but don't want to buy the book, I found it posted here. I thought that would be a great way to keep them in single servings. So I froze them in a cupcake pan, without the sauce, then just pull out a few rolls and toss them in the crock pot with some sauce and they are ready by dinner time. The last time I did this I also chopped up kale and eggplant to cook in my sauce while the lasagna was cooking. It turned out great and was a complete meal.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
E is for Elimination Communication
I talked about using EC with Violet in this post when she was about 7 months old. Since then, we have had a long road, and we have had very few poopy diapers. In fact, even when Violet got a horrible stomach flu (this has happened twice now) and had really bad diarrhea, she still didn't poop in diapers. That is control. The peeing... well, that's another story.
So Violet has been almost exclusively pooping in the toilet since she was 3 months old, and peeing in the toilet as long too- just not exclusively. At 26 months, she still pees in her diapers. We are working on it, but don't feel a huge urge to pressure her. We do a lot of naked time at home (mostly because she doesn't want to wear clothes, not because of some structured naked time). We got her cute panties that are not for peeing in, but accidents still happen in them (although she is more prone to tell us she has to pee if she's wearing panties). We try not to make a big deal of accidents, and we try to stay positive. Anyway, that's where we're at with her.
If nothing else, we've giving her a comfort with the toilet, which many children her age don't have. Many parents I know face the issue of a child afraid of or confused by the potty. By offering the option without pressure early on, you solidify that connection between our bodily waste and the toilet.
At 6 weeks, my new baby Desmond is making leaps and bounds. He's gone pee over the toilet about 5-6 times now, and pooped about 3 times. I'm using the same method I used with Violet; I just hold him over the toilet during his diaper change. I've also taken him in just after a feeding and had good luck that way too. Unlike Violet, who screamed if you held her over the toilet (which is why we gave up until 3 months when she was more comfortable with it), Desmond is content to be held over the toilet, and looks up at me happily while we wait for nature to take its course. We will see how he progresses, but so far I'm optimistic.
For more inforamation about EC, check out Diaper Free Baby or just do a search and see what appeals to you.
So Violet has been almost exclusively pooping in the toilet since she was 3 months old, and peeing in the toilet as long too- just not exclusively. At 26 months, she still pees in her diapers. We are working on it, but don't feel a huge urge to pressure her. We do a lot of naked time at home (mostly because she doesn't want to wear clothes, not because of some structured naked time). We got her cute panties that are not for peeing in, but accidents still happen in them (although she is more prone to tell us she has to pee if she's wearing panties). We try not to make a big deal of accidents, and we try to stay positive. Anyway, that's where we're at with her.
If nothing else, we've giving her a comfort with the toilet, which many children her age don't have. Many parents I know face the issue of a child afraid of or confused by the potty. By offering the option without pressure early on, you solidify that connection between our bodily waste and the toilet.
At 6 weeks, my new baby Desmond is making leaps and bounds. He's gone pee over the toilet about 5-6 times now, and pooped about 3 times. I'm using the same method I used with Violet; I just hold him over the toilet during his diaper change. I've also taken him in just after a feeding and had good luck that way too. Unlike Violet, who screamed if you held her over the toilet (which is why we gave up until 3 months when she was more comfortable with it), Desmond is content to be held over the toilet, and looks up at me happily while we wait for nature to take its course. We will see how he progresses, but so far I'm optimistic.
For more inforamation about EC, check out Diaper Free Baby or just do a search and see what appeals to you.
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