Child-Lead Potty Learning

When my daughter weaned, it was mostly a mutual choice, but not the child-lead situation I had anticipated.  At 18 months she was pulling on my shirt, throwing fits if I made her wait, and still wanting to nurse 5-10 times a day.  It wasn't a healthy relationship for either of us, and it had to come to a stop.  So I cut her back to 3 times a day, somehow, and after that I would only nurse her if she asked.  The more I kept her distracted, the less often she asked to nurse.  Eventually, we were just done, and after a week I refused when she asked again.  Of course, four months later she's trying to nurse every now and then, but I'm comfortable denying her now and she understands.

Still, part of me feels like we missed out on something that would empower her and make me feel like I wasn't pushing her.  Luckily, potty training has filled that void for me.  Of all the things that I have chosen to let her figure out on her own, I will admit that I didn't anticipate potty training being one of them.

Here's what we've been doing, and how it's been going:

0-3 months:  We began trying to look for "cues" that she had to go to the bathroom almost at birth.  We read about Elimination Communication, and found ourselves feeling frustrated and like failures.

3 months:  As much as we looked for cues and patterns, we finally found one- she started peeing every time we took off a dirty diaper.  So, we started holding her over the toilet at each diaper change.  Hazzah!  Success!  She still had wet diapers often, but she went in the potty each time as well, and seemed to save up her poops for when we took her to pee.

3-5 months:  We had less than a handful of poopy diapers during this time.  She began giving us a look when she had to poop, and seemed to really enjoy not sitting in her own waste.  Pees still happened both in the diaper and in the toilet.

5-21 months:  As she became mobile, letting us know she had to poop became less and less important.  We had a few poopy diapers here and there, but it was still less than once a week or even every two weeks.  Around 10 months she began pointing to her diaper when she needed to poop, and that helped.  Now that she is vocal, she will say, "poop."  We introduced a potty chair, which was okay, but she was still more comfortable with the toilet and a seat on it.  During this period of time, she peed on the floor approximately 1 billion times (it's laminate), but learned to get a towel and clean it up herself.

22 months:  She has begun taking off her own pants and diaper at times, so that she can sit on her potty chair and do her business.  She brings the little insert, and seems to enjoy the independence and privacy of using her potty chair by herself.  We went camping a few days ago and we learned that she would be potty trained if we lived exclusively outdoors (she would also probably be inconsolably happy if we lived exclusively outdoors, but until we find jobs in Hawaii this is not an option).  We were on a hike and didn't bring extra diapers, so we just took off her wet one and hoped for the best.  She watched me pull my pants down and squat to pee once and she was HOOKED.  She kept squatting down and and peeing and not getting any on her pants.  Then one time she walked off the trail a ways, and I found her squatting and pooping!  That's right, just like a dog does, she instinctively knew not to just poop in the middle of the trail!  We wiped with a leaf and moved on to more pees.  It was a great hike.  As soon as we were back in our cabin she immediately peed her pants.  You win some, you pee on some.

At this point, she's really impressed me with they way she has guided this change.  Yes, we support it and give positive feedback, but it seems her biggest factor in change is intrinsic motivation.

Who knows how much longer we have in diapers, or what will be the deciding factor to her making the crossover, but for now we're happy that we aren't forcing it and it's still happening easily and fluidly (like pee running down your leg).  We got You Can Go to the Potty by Dr. Sears and it really reinforces what we've already been doing without pressure or a timeline.  We have been reading that some and she seems to like it.  I feel like this is something that we've all found our way on together, without following any one program, and that's what I like best about Violet's potty learning, it's not something that some book or website had to teach us about, and not something that we had to teach her, it's something that has happened naturally by doing what we all feel makes sense and makes us each comfortable.

"Vegan Meatballs" Lie on Children's Menu: My Expose

There's nothing better than a great local restaurant that serves up delicious vegan fare.  For a place like that, I give good ratings on Urban Spoon, Yelp, and Happy Cow.  A place like that I tell my friends about.  I tell the people who ask me about going vegan and tasteless food, and "how do you go out to eat" to go to that restaurant so they can see for themselves.

In Anchorage, we don't have any all-vegan restaurants (at the time of publishing this post I have not yet opened up my own vegan cafe, sadly).  We do, however, have a few that are "vegan-friendly" and even more that are turning that way.  The local brewpub, Bear Tooth Theatrepub and Grill, now has an entire section of their menu dedicated to vegan items, though they have denied my offer to share recipes or even come in part time so that they could have some awesome vegan deserts to add to the fun.  The busiest breakfast diner, where Drew Barrymore ate quite often when she was shooting a movie in town, Snow City Cafe, now has an icon on their menu indicating which items can "easily be made vegan" and instead of just leaving things out and charging you the same price, they even let me sub avocado for the eggs they are leaving off.   Middle Way Cafe, a personal favorite of mine, almost always has a vegan baked good in addition to both savory and sweet vegan breakfast items and the most amazing avocado melt you can imagine for lunch.  Although I'm not usually the type to order a salad as an entree, I have been known to literally drink their lemon tahini dressing because it is so amazing.  There are many more that I really should take the time to list, but instead I will launch into the madness.

In Anchorage, there is one restaurant that is known for catering to vegans, vegetarians, and flexitarians looking for free range buffalo burgers, organic lamb gyros, and wild Alaskan halibut wraps.  That place is Organic Oasis.  Oddly, while this particular restaurant is known for it's extra enlightened menu, the waitstaff is not always as well-informed as I would like.  They often don't know what they are serving, but have always been polite and quick to ask the chef about any of my questions.  In addition, the chef has always been great about altering a dish to meet my needs.  Unfortunately, it is neither the waitstaff or the chef writing the menu.

Rather than rehash the scenario and then post my letter, I will just post the email I sent to the owner after a very unpleasant circumstance.  I know there are typos, but I want to be honest about what I said and honest about my response, so I posting it as is:

The first time I went to Organic Oasis was about three years ago, when we were new to Anchorage.  At that time we were omnivores, but both my husband and I are allergic to dairy.  We were so pleased to see vegan carrot cake on the menu, and even mentioned that part of our excitement was because of our dairy allergy.  To our confusion and surprise, our cake was served to us with a scoop of Humboldt Creamery ice cream, which according to the menu is not included and actually costs extra.  We are pushovers and instead of raising a fuss, we just at what wasn't touching the ice cream, tipped our server despite this poor service, and figured there were no other options for us in Anchorage, so we might as well grin and bear it.

As the years have passed, we have enjoyed the food at Organic Oasis greatly, although again and again we were faced with servers who were very polite, but often didn't know what had dairy (or in several cases what "dairy" meant.  In answer to my question, "does the chocolate you use to make the mochas have milk in it?"  The reply I got was, "We can make it with rice milk."  When I reiterated that I meant the actual chocolate used to make the mocha, not whatever milk or milk substitute was use, I got a blank stare and the words "It's organic."  

In spite of these disappointments, the food is always tasty, and again, the service has always been friendly, if poorly informed about what they are serving.  I have my CSA box delivered there, and so at least once a week I eat lunch there with my daughter and we always have a good time.  We are now vegan, and there are so few options for us in Anchorage that we have put aside these mishaps in favor of being able to order food that we can trust to be vegan.

Last week, my husband, daughter, and I came in for lunch and we were thrilled to see spaghetti and vegan meatballs on the Children's Menu.  Eager to try the newest vegan item, we ordered it for our daughter, who has been vegan since birth (as such, we would have no idea if she is allergic to dairy or eggs, but when ordering vegan items that shouldn't be an issue).  What she didn't finish, I ate the next morning.  The vegan meatballs had a texture that I thought was really interesting, so I looked at the menu online and found that they were made from "myco-protein."  After a quick search, the only sources of myco-protein I could find were Quorn products, which any vegan knows contain egg whites.  Even the wikipedia definition of basic myco-protein says that it contains egg whites.  I held out hope and posted on your facebook page and attempted to call 3 or 4 times without ever getting through.  Today I went in and asked the waitress if the "vegan" meatballs had egg whites.  I was standing at the counter, so I saw her ask the chef, who pulled out a bag of Quorn meatballs and read the label.  "Yeah, there are egg whites in these," he said.  The waitress relayed the information with no apology or explanation other than, "they were just added to the menu." 

The waitstaff without an understanding of what vegan means is one thing, but it is inexcusable to put children at risk for potentially dangerous reactions to a fairly common allergen- eggs.  It's also in excusable to try to dupe vegans with a product whose packaging clearly states that it has eggs and does not in any way claim to be vegan.  As many claims as Organic Oasis makes about it's products, "free range" "organic" "grass fed" "corn syrup free" etc, and you can't read a simple list of ingredients?  I find it hard to believe that any of the statements you make about your food has any credibility at this point, and this has finally been the tipping point to turn away this customer.

I am also a member of the Alaska Veg Meetup, with about 150 members, and I have shared my concerns with them, as well as several local mothers I know with severely allergic children.  At least two of those mothers were previously very loyal customers, but I doubt they will be any longer.  

I truly hope you find a way to fix these inconsistancies, to reassure the local vegan and vegetarian communities, and to let parents know that you are not trying to put their children in harms way with your Children's Menu items.

Doesn't say vegan here.

This was the response I got:
I am sorry for your poor experience and for believing we are reckless & duping our customers with our offerings. I think you are a bit harsh here. We are on the frontier of food service. We ask for and expect a little latitude. We will take the vegan icon off the meatball dish. I have had so much headache trying to help special diet people. I owned & operated a vegan juice bar and cafe in this town for 8 years. That was 19897 to 1995. Special diet food is always a hard sell because the number of people is so small. There are hundreds of people who come through Organic Oasis each day. About 5% are special diet people. I try to facilitate them from a space of compassion. If we make a mistake out here on the food frontier, please try to be gentle with us. We try and sometimes we succeed, This is how a movement is grown. 

People who come to work for me have little experience in this "special" menu world called Organic Oasis. It is difficult for these servers to retain information. It is endemic across the industry. I fish from a shallow pond when I advertise for help. It is the biggest tragedy at Organic Oasis. Most servers have two jobs or are going to college making it difficult to conduct meaningful training sessions. You expect too much from people who make 8 dollars an hour. I come from a different  work ethic where we would claim ownership of our jobs. It just is not that way now days. Sure you can find good servers, but about 80% of them are deficient in basic skills and have cavalier attitudes. It is sad. Most people have no idea how difficult it is to offer on a daily basis all of these foods made from scratch. 
I am grateful for you taking the time to give honest feedback. But threatening to not come in anymore, you only hurt your options for dining out. Supporting places that pay attention to GMO, corn syrup, preservatives, etc, only helps the movement grow. I am sorry we will not see you anymore and even sorrier that I let you down. I take this seriously and will undoubtedly spring forward with action due to your feed back. Again, thank you for taking the time to care.

Quorn has the decency to warn consumers with allergies that this product contains eggs, as should any resaler.

I would first like to note that he has in no way addressed the issue of why a prepackaged item with a bold face warning below the ingredients list indicating that this product contains egg whites was put on the menu as "vegan meatballs."

The second thing I would point out is that while he indicates that of the "hundreds of customers" that come through the restaurant a day, only 5% are those with special diets, the menu is designed to cater almost exclusively to special diets of one sort or another.  It seems highly unlikely that of those hundreds, more than 5% don't eat a special diet of "mostly organic" foods, or a special diet that includes the avoidance of farmed fish/meat/GMO foods.  Wheatgrass shots a big seller at this restaurant, but I don't see the general population consuming a lot of wheatgrass.

Finally, I would like to point out that making a claim that something is vegan for no apparent reason other than to appeal to a broader audience calls into question all the other claims they make about their menu.  Are things labeled "organic" really organic, or was that just an error on the menu as well?  What does GMO-free mean if the menu author can't even read the ingredients on a package of Quorn meatless balls?  How carefully are they regulating their promises to their customers and the claims about what they are selling?  For me, it calls into the question the integrity of the entire establishment.

Where do I go from here?  That's the question.  I have been advised by more than one friend to write a letter to the editor of our local paper, especially because they were serving and incorrectly labeled item that contained a common allergen- and on the CHILDREN'S menu no less.  I'm not sure how far I want to take this, but I do feel that more should be done.  For now, I will publish this little rant and move on for a bit.

**UPDATE**  Well, last week, about two weeks after my initial email, a friend went into the restaurant and it was STILL on the menu.  Not only that, but when he said something to the waitress she had no idea, so it hasn't even been mentioned to the staff (only about 10 people work there).  To me, that means the owner is DELIBERATELY misleading customers and putting children at risk for a bad egg reaction.  It would cost nothing to put a sticky note next to the register or next to the schedule in back that says that the vegan meatballs aren't vegan, just let customers know.

Taco Thursday!

I saw this video on Tuesday, and I really liked it.



I love that it shows how people really do go about transitioning to a meatless lifestyle.  It often takes lots of different sources of different information, and it starts as simple as one meal.

I really wanted tacos right away after seeing it, but I had leftovers then, so I decided to wait for Thursday so I could be catchy.  I had some Gardein Beefless Tips in the freezer that I had no idea what to do with, and luckily the Gardein website had this great taco recipe.

Dinner on the porch.  Such a beautiful night. 

It's a little confusing in the format, but made sense once I read it.  The ingredients other than the tortillas up to the words "avocado salsa" are the marinade ingredients.  This meal comes together VERY quickly and easily and tastes so fresh and delicious.  I used slightly less green salsa than in called for in my avocado salsa, and I still thought it was too much, personally.  I also used a little more corn and will double the corn next time.  For defrosting, I defrosted the beefless tips in the microwave by cutting open the bag and cooking them for 1 minute, the corn I put in for about 40 seconds in a microwave safe bowl (because I used frozen corn).  For my cheese, I used just a touch of cheddar daiya.

Oddly, this is her "smile" of approval.

I Just Want a Cupcake

When I first read that Natalie Portman stopped being vegan during her pregnancy because she was craving cakes and cookies, I scoffed.  I mean, she's Natalie-FREAKIN'-Portman.  She doesn't live/work near a vegan bakery?  She can't hire a personal chef to lavish her with amazing vegan baked goods?

Is there a movie out this year that she's NOT in?  Seriously?!

So it was annoying, and frustrating, and saddening because she became a vegan after reading the same book that changed my life to veganism, Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer.  The worst part for me is that she's looking to buy these products from regular bakeries, which I have a feeling aren't getting their eggs from more humane farmers.  The same goes for butter/milk in those products.  So she's going from omitting these ingredients completely based on her ethics to purchasing products from likely the worst of the worst (see: lowest bidder).  I can understand making hard choices for your baby's health, but laughing about her choice really makes me wonder if we read the same book.  This article discusses the choice she and other vegans have made to give up veganism through pregnancy and the needlessness in most cases for indulging those cravings.

As a young girl, I looked up to Drew Barrymore for a million reasons and one, so she was my first vegetarian role model.  I remember as a teen being devastated when I read an article that she had started eating meat again so she could lose weight for Charlie's Angels.  What a beautiful woman, who felt she had to lose THIRTY POUNDS to look good enough.  She was gorgeous before, and now I just see a thin girl who doesn't know who she is anymore.  When she filmed a movie in my town this summer, one of the local articles said that she was reading a copy of Eating Animals in between takes, which gives me some hope.  But maybe it just doesn't have the same effect on others as it does on me.  Maybe reading it in the wake of a beautiful birth made me more receptive.  Who knows?

It's not like I don't remember just over a year ago when I was buying products and eating food without any regard for their origins or who was hurt along the way, so I understand the people out there still eating meat and choosing their battles.  It's a common excuse we tell ourselves that they, "just don't know," because the truth is that many people don't care about the suffering of animals.

But all that aside, the point of this post is that I want a cupcake.  There is nowhere in Anchorage for me to get a vegan cupcake, unless I spin the wheel of fate and one of two cafes that have once in a blue moon had vegan cupcakes just happen to have them on a day when I can get into a cafe.  I can make my own though, and that's my only choice.  The thing is, I'm over halfway pregnant, I'm cranky, my cravings are so strong I just ate 4 Tofutti Cuties, and I still want a cupcake.  But I'm not going to surrender my ethics because of that.  I'm not going to go down to the grocery store and get the gross bakery cupcakes.  I'm not going to say, "Oh, well I'm pregnant, so this doesn't count."

I'm not better or stronger or anything else than Natalie Portman, I'm just making a different choice.  I don't want to prove that I can do something she can't, I just want to point out that I can, and I do, and in the end it's not that big of a deal.  Like I said, I can make my own.  My cupcakes are better than most I've had store-baught anyway, thanks to my PPK girls and their Bible/cupcake cookbook Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World.  


So for any preggies out there: here's the recipe for a delicious chocolate cupcake.

Mother's Day: A Short Diary

Sunday May 8th, 2011 (Mother's Day)
2am-ish:  Violet woke up crying in a way that said she was scared of something.  Both my husband and I tried to take her back to bed, but were met with more fear.  So, we brought her back to our bed.  She snuggled in with me in my awesome pregnancy pillow and we fell asleep.

7am: I woke up in the most perfect picture of motherhood.  I had my right arm around my beautiful todder, and our foreheads were touching.  My left hand was on my belly, over my unborn child who shifted with us as we all woke up together.  I wish I had a photo of this, but the image is so clear in my mind.  I said to my husband, "This is what it is to be a mom."

Wednesday May 11th, 2011
2am:  We hear crying from Violet's room, so my husband goes in to check on her.  I hear him say, "Oh no!" and take her to the bathroom.  Then he calls to me and asks that I change her sheets.  She had thrown up in her sleep.  She threw up again in the bathroom (on her daddy of course, not in the toilet or sink).  When we brought her back to her room, she just wanted me to hold her.  The massage I had gotten the day before as a Mother's Day present faded away as I sat in the position most comfortable to her and least comfortable to me.   She threw up on me, then after I had to change my shirt I put a towel over my chest and got in the rocking chair with her.  It was clear she was not interested in getting back in her bed or leaving me for a second.  I spent the rest of the night in the rocking chair with my darling on my chest sleeping, but waking every half hour or so to moan and then throw up.  Luckily, it was in that order and I was able to catch it/shield myself in time.

Noon-ish:  The doctor has told us not to give fluids until she stops vomitting and she is begging for fluids.  She refuses to be not touching me, specifically enjoying being on my chest.  As a result, I can't drink or eat anything except if I sneak away for a minute to hide in the bathroom.  She is exhausted and is getting no calories, so she sleeps in tiny cat naps on me and throws up periodically.

This is what motherhood really looks like.

Thursday May 12th, 2011
10am:  We finally go to the doctor's office because it's been over 24 hours and she can't even keep small sips of water/tea/coconut water down.  When we were getting ready, I set her on my bed so she could still see me since she refuses to let me out of her sight.  She slept in her own bed last night, but as soon as she woke up it was back to the lap.  While I have my back turned to get clothes out of my dresser, I hear, "wa wa!"  I turn around to see she is chugging out of the water bottle I keep next to my bed.  She throws up on herself on the way to the office.  The doctor suggests a popsicle, which Violet has never had before, and she loves it.  The puke on the car ride over turns out to be her last.

8pm:  She's asleep.  We have been giving her 5ccs of Pedialyte at a time through a syringe (by mouth) and she isn't throwing up at all.  She nibbles a bit at some food.

Friday May 13th, 2011
8am:  I drop my husband off at the airport for his two weeks at work thinking that we are out of the woods and she will start eating and feel fine now.  She ate a lot of oatmeal this morning, as well as some of Daddy's cereal.  She's fine, finally.

10am:  She falls asleep for a very early nap, but of course she's tired.

11am:  She wouldn't stay asleep for more than a few minutes, so I get in her toddler bed with her.  She wakes up at 11 and starts moaning.  I think she is going to puke on me, so I grab a towel.  Instead, I hear an erruption in her pants.  I change her diaper and it's horrific and totally liquid.  The virus has moved south.

8pm:  She spent the rest of the day in good spirits, but with explosive diarrhea.  After that first diaper incident, she tells me first and goes in the toilet.  She is drinking a lot of water, but she's losing a LOT of water.  It's unbelievable that someone so small can poop so much.  She's not very interested in eating.

Saturday and Sunday
A blur of trips to the bathroom.  On Sunday she still wasn't eating much, but she was drinking soy milk and at least getting some nutrients with her fluids.  I try again and again to mix acidophilous with yogurt or apple sauce and she turns it down.  Finally she began eating some yogurt, then I started making her her usual morning drink which is a container of yogurt and about a cup of soy milk mixed together in a straw cup.  It's like a smoothie but without all the fruit.

Monday May 16th, 2011
11:30pm: I put her down for a nap but she cried, so I checked on her.  She said she had to poop and I prepared sadly for more explosions.  Instead, she pooped a solid turd.  Never have I been so happy to see a turd!  She was eating and drinking well today, and I had given her soy yogurt mixed with soy milk to help the cultures in her gut replenish.

Baked Vegan Cheesecake: I Have No Idea What New Yorkers Eat

I like a good baked cheesecake as much as the next girl, but I hesitate to call this "New York Style" cheesecake the way so many big companies will do just because it's baked.  I'm just saying that it's baked, and that a New Yorker may or may not enjoy it.

My husband was a bit ho hum about my yummy no-bake vegan cheesecake ventures, and I finally got out of him that it's because he prefers the baked cheesecake.  Well that's no problem darlin', I just needed to know so I could create accordingly!  This recipe fills the bill of dense richness that he wants, and has a tang that reminds me of my grandmother's cheesecake which always included sour cream.  It would be great topped with cherry pie filling (canned or homemade) or a caramel and chocolate topping, but I decided to be a purist for this one.

This filling goes all the way to the top of the crust. 

Plain Baked Vegan Cheesecake
1 premade/storebought graham cracker crust (I haven't had a hard time finding vegan ones, just watch for honey)
2 tubs Tofutti cream cheese
1 single serving container of vanilla or plain soy yogurt (this is where that great sour cream tang comes from)
1/2 cup sugar/ evaporated cane juice
1/4 cup arrowroot powder (I get the big bag of Bob's Red Mill and it's cheaper than bottled)
1/2 cup soy creamer vanilla or plain
1 tsp vanilla

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  I use my standing mixer and combine everything but the crust until it's smooth and creamy, but I suppose this could be done by hand, so long as everything is combined well.  It helps to mix the arrowroot with the creamer separately, then combine in.  Arrowroot doesn't clump much, but it's still easier this way.  I haven't tried it with cornstarch instead of arrowroot, but I think it would yeild similar results, but maybe a slightly chalky taste.
Pour mixture into crust and smooth out the top and bake for 30-45 minutes.  The top should puff up all the way to the middle and turn slightly brown in patches.  Once it's all puffed up, turn off the oven and let it sit a few minutes so it can naturally sink without too big of a heat change.  Take out, let it cool, and then refrigerate overnight for best dense results.  Before it's cold it has an almost custard-like consistency, which isn't bad, but isn't that nice rich cheesecakey feel either.

Vegan Pregnancy: Part 4

It's a BOY!

Yesterday was the big 20 week ultrasound and we quickly discovered that we've got a little man on the way!  It's hard to say goodbye to my daughter's adorable little cothes, but I think it's probably best for our family.  We only wanted 2, so we'll get to have one of each and never wonder "what if we wanted to try for a ___."

I think Violet was on to the truth for a while though, as were we.  We get a monthly book through a program called Imagination Library.  It's free and fun, for the most part.  There have been some books I wasn't too fond of, but they were free, so I'm not complaining.  Anyway, a few months ago, we got Big Sister, Little Sister in the mail and we thought Violet would be really into it. It's a great book for siblings and has all pictures of real siblings doing different fun things and the text is in fun rhymes.  Violet let me read it to her all the way through one time, and then ripped one of the pages and won't get more than a page through it anymore.

Then the next month, we got Big Brother, Little Brother, which I figured she'd have the same lack of interest in.  I didn't really push it and I put it with her other books.  It quickly became a bedtime favorite and is sometimes repeated.  It's the same style, with pictures of real brothers playing together and rhymes to go along. One night after we read through it and she was so excited, I told her that no matter what the baby turned out to be, she could be a big brother if that's what she wanted.

We also had a name picked out for our boy long before we knew he was a boy.  We had been throwing names around and around, getting too narrowminded by our desire to have it fit into a certain box or style.  We wanted a name of something in nature, like Violet Rose.  Then we wanted an Irish name.  Then I was stuck on names that started with Q for a while and only wanted to discuss Q names for a boy or girl.  Then one day, we were listening to the Beatles and Obla Di came on and the first word is Desmond.  As soon as we heard it we both turned to one another and said, "What do you think of Desmond?"  Since then, I've been calling this baby Dez and trying to decide if I would be willing to call my daughter Desdemona if it turned out we were having a girl (the answer was no).

So we went into our ultrasound with all three of us expecting a boy, and lo and behold, we were right.  The evidence was clear as soon as the baby came up on the screen, and all my fears about having a small penis in my life came true.  How will I clean it?  Will he pee directly into my mouth while I'm changing him?  Will people treat him strangly because he is intact?  Will he knock up some girl that I don't like when he's 15?  I'm sure the answers will all come in time though, and I'm so excited that Violet gets a younger brother to play with and to be her brother for life.

We also had another nice surprise at our ultrasound.  Despite the fact that I have only gained 2lbs in the first 20 weeks of my pregnancy, Dez is measuring a little big.  This is great news, because it's a sign of health and strength.  What a lovely surprise.  No worries about him growing.  I was starting to wonder because until recently I didn't feel like I was showing much and I wondered how a whole baby was fitting in there.  I'm all round and robust now though, and it's good to know he is too.

Some day I will find time and energy to post some recipes again.  Until then, my boy and I are going to rest while big sis sleeps.